I love dogs. I always have, probably always will. And if the dog is not very likable- I usually think it can be attributed to its owner more than the dog's nature. Dogs, generally, are loving, selfless animals so long as their needs are met- food, water, security, love... I even believed, until recently, that if a dog had been deprived of any of these things and developed issues- these issues could be overcome with consistently meeting their needs over a period of time. That was 3 years ago that I last firmly held to that belief... 3 years B.C. (before Cooper).
Cooper is our weimeraner. He is a rescue dog that was starving in a metal crate when he was found in about 4 inches of standing water and covered in sores. The rescue group took him in, nursed him back to health, and we adopted him. When we got him- you could still see his ribs and the scars from the sores. But, we firmly believed, love would overcome all and he would turn out to be the best dog we ever had. He was terrified of being put in a crate and if we tried he would wet all over himself and the person maneuvering him into the crate. He was ravenously hungry all the time- even if he just ate. He had separation anxiety and thought he needed to sit on the couch by you and sleep in the bed with you. He refused to go outside by himself for more than the 20 seconds it took him to pee off the side of the porch. He was terrified of the water hose (we think his previous owners would spray him with the hose when he was locked in the crate- probably to keep him from barking- which is why he was found in standing water and why he was terrified of the crate as well). And last, he was completely obsessed with tennis balls.
So 3 years later- what has changed? After eating 2 meals a day, every day, for 3 years- being showered with love and attention from a house full of dog lovers-being walked, played with and surrounded by doggie buddies ( we have 3 others)- Cooper is no longer afraid of the crate. Yes- that is all we have accomplished. He is still hungry all the time- in fact just yesterday he ate a granola bar still in the wrapper while 3 of us tried to wrangle it out of his giant slobbery mouth. We finally gave in and gave him his own chair to keep him off the couch so I consider that a compromise instead of a failure. He still does not want to be outside unless someone is with him (and he has let us know that does not include other dogs). And he is still utterly and completely obsessed with tennis balls. He is the only one of our 4 dogs that makes me want to curse on a regular basis and I am quite convinced he is the most selfish dog that has ever lived (there is a general consensus in our home on this point).
We have discussed getting rid of him- giving him back to the rescue group or tossing him off the side of a building- but there is always a majority that votes the idea down (the members of this majority change from day to day, depending on what Cooper has done to whom). I think because , despite all his issues and selfishness, there is a sweetness to him (it has been debated that this he is just a master manipulator- but we have no verifiable proof) and somewhere deep down we still believe like we did B.C.- that maybe one day love will overcome and he will be the greatest dog we've ever had. Until then, I will bite my tongue and hide the granola bars.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Infomercials
There are things we don't like to admit about ourselves- those embarrassing secrets we hope to take to the grave. I am trusting that , at most, 6 people read this so I can reveal one of mine. I am an infomercial junkie. Not only do I watch them - I am fairly entertained by them- AND I frequently buy the products. I would feel so ashamed except that I typically like the stuff I buy so much I can't feel too terrible about it. (The spaghetti cooker is a definite exception) From exercise programs to beauty products- all you have to do to convince me is put together a snappy little 24 minute program with before and after shots and a B-list celebrity to endorse it- and I will totally believe it WILL transform my life.
I do draw the line on certain things. The kitchen products don't hold a big attraction for me- probably in part because I hate cooking in the first place. No, I usually go for things that I feel like I need- younger skin, something to fix dry, damaged hair, best shape of your life kind of stuff. Our needs can make us vulnerable in ways we could never imagine. With the infomercials, I may just be out a few dollars, but in other areas of life- the consequences of buying into the wrong things to meet our needs are much higher. We see this everyday with people calling psychic hotlines, losing their savings in get-rich-quick scams, or buying into false religions. The course of lives are forever altered because they are chasing the wrong solutions. We have legitimate needs and we are desperate for solutions- but if we aren't careful where we go to meet those needs we end up in a bigger mess than we began with. And we miss the greatest Solution ever given to mankind. Whatever you need- He is the solution. Lonely? He's comfort. Sad? He's joy. Sick? He's healing. Lost? He's direction. He is everything we ever need.
I do draw the line on certain things. The kitchen products don't hold a big attraction for me- probably in part because I hate cooking in the first place. No, I usually go for things that I feel like I need- younger skin, something to fix dry, damaged hair, best shape of your life kind of stuff. Our needs can make us vulnerable in ways we could never imagine. With the infomercials, I may just be out a few dollars, but in other areas of life- the consequences of buying into the wrong things to meet our needs are much higher. We see this everyday with people calling psychic hotlines, losing their savings in get-rich-quick scams, or buying into false religions. The course of lives are forever altered because they are chasing the wrong solutions. We have legitimate needs and we are desperate for solutions- but if we aren't careful where we go to meet those needs we end up in a bigger mess than we began with. And we miss the greatest Solution ever given to mankind. Whatever you need- He is the solution. Lonely? He's comfort. Sad? He's joy. Sick? He's healing. Lost? He's direction. He is everything we ever need.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Authority
I am reading a book on prayer and one of the chapters talks about spiritual authority. This is very interesting to me because at times I really don't know what I have authority over. I'm going to have to reread this chapter because I am still not exactly clear on that. It did make me think of something that may be similar, though.
When Halle was little she used my bathroom for everything. We have a garden tub so she liked to take her baths in the "big" tub. She brushed her teeth, combed her hair (on the rare occasions she combed that curly mop), and did all her bathroom duties in my bathroom. On one trip to Pensacola when Halle was about 5, she noticed that all my sister's kids had their own bathrooms. During the car ride home, she said to me how she wished she had her own bathroom. I told her she did, that the bathroom Kenzie and Brandt used was hers too. She said, "Really?" I assured her that, yes, that bathroom was just as much hers as it was theirs and that was the end of that conversation. I didn't think much about it partially because Halle and I have SO many conversations about so many things- she is a chatter. But a day or so after we were home- Halle moved her toothbrush, shampoo and conditioner, and her rarely-used hair brush into the kid's bathroom and sat them in drawers and on the side of the tub. She moved in to that bathroom. She never mentioned it to me beforehand to make sure it was okay, and she didn't ask Kenzie and Brandt if they minded. Mom said it was her bathroom, so in her precious little mind- it was HER bathroom.
I think when Jesus talked about coming to Him like little children- this was some of what He was talking about. Oh to have the faith of Halle in what He tells me is mine- what He says I can do! To not look for the approval of man to see if it is acceptable-to not live in perpetual insecurity about whether I misunderstood what He told me. This is the kind of spiritual authority I want to walk in- not presumption or arrogance, not double-minded insecurity...but simple faith that what He says is true and what He tells me to do- I can do.
When Halle was little she used my bathroom for everything. We have a garden tub so she liked to take her baths in the "big" tub. She brushed her teeth, combed her hair (on the rare occasions she combed that curly mop), and did all her bathroom duties in my bathroom. On one trip to Pensacola when Halle was about 5, she noticed that all my sister's kids had their own bathrooms. During the car ride home, she said to me how she wished she had her own bathroom. I told her she did, that the bathroom Kenzie and Brandt used was hers too. She said, "Really?" I assured her that, yes, that bathroom was just as much hers as it was theirs and that was the end of that conversation. I didn't think much about it partially because Halle and I have SO many conversations about so many things- she is a chatter. But a day or so after we were home- Halle moved her toothbrush, shampoo and conditioner, and her rarely-used hair brush into the kid's bathroom and sat them in drawers and on the side of the tub. She moved in to that bathroom. She never mentioned it to me beforehand to make sure it was okay, and she didn't ask Kenzie and Brandt if they minded. Mom said it was her bathroom, so in her precious little mind- it was HER bathroom.
I think when Jesus talked about coming to Him like little children- this was some of what He was talking about. Oh to have the faith of Halle in what He tells me is mine- what He says I can do! To not look for the approval of man to see if it is acceptable-to not live in perpetual insecurity about whether I misunderstood what He told me. This is the kind of spiritual authority I want to walk in- not presumption or arrogance, not double-minded insecurity...but simple faith that what He says is true and what He tells me to do- I can do.
Monday, May 24, 2010
TV
I was watching some late night TV the other night. It was a very popular pastor that I've watched many times before and I like him, but something always bothers me about his teaching and I can never put my finger on it. He teaches Biblical truth- it is scriptural, but still something about his interpretation always nags at me that it's not quite right. So as I watched , and I did get some good things out of what he said, but I just asked the Lord what bothered me so much about his teaching. And He showed me. This man teaches a self-centered gospel.
Every principle he taught tied directly to our own personal happiness and success. It was not a "prosperity" message so much as it was a be-all-you-can-be message. This is not all bad- we should be all God created us to be but if that is our only reason for entering into this Christian walk- to just become the best version of ourself- we are really missing the whole point. We have bought into a Christian version of all the self-help gurus out there.
I have taught my children from the time they were very young to be kind to other people. Sometimes they are, sometimes they are not. Sometimes they are nice only because I said to be nice. And while it is true that being kind to others can a lot of times benefit you personally- that is not why I want them to be kind. I want them to realize the value each person has- that they are precious creations of their God and He adores them. So we should treat them like they are valuable because they are valuable. The thought being that they will eventually be kind to others because they see the value in them and want to treat them with honor- whether it personally benefits them or not. Because, I believe, if they only treat people well because of what they might get out of it- then that is just a sophisticated form of manipulation. And not at all honorable. And not what I am trying to teach them.
So maybe we start out obeying God because it's what He says to do- but I think at some point He's hoping we get His vision and His heart and we are doing things because it's what is important to Him and not just because it will lead us into a happy and successful life. This self-centered gospel doesn't work because it doesn't exist. If our gospel is self'-centered it is just that- "ours" and has become something we have made - not what God has made. He is anything but self-centered (reference the cross) and His will for us is anything but a life of self-centeredness.(reference any of the disciples)
He says plainly His desire is to be in close relationship with us and for His kingdom to come here on earth. So we have interpreted "His will" to mean whatever sounds good to us. But He again spelled that out clearly,too-His will is to bind up the brokenhearted, to free the captives, to help the poor, release those in darkness, and to comfort those who mourn (Isaiah 61). That's why He came and that's what He told us to do when He left- to finish the work of the One who sent Him. There was no real mention of our personal happiness in all of that. The gospel, if we can simplify it into anything, is not self-centered but others-centered. But even that is not really true because then we can go from being narcissistic and introspective to a self-satisfied do-gooder. Gosh- we can make anything about us can't we? But it's this delicate balance of us being in relationship with Him and doing what He would be doing if He were still here walking this earth- realizing it's all about us and not at all about us.
Every principle he taught tied directly to our own personal happiness and success. It was not a "prosperity" message so much as it was a be-all-you-can-be message. This is not all bad- we should be all God created us to be but if that is our only reason for entering into this Christian walk- to just become the best version of ourself- we are really missing the whole point. We have bought into a Christian version of all the self-help gurus out there.
I have taught my children from the time they were very young to be kind to other people. Sometimes they are, sometimes they are not. Sometimes they are nice only because I said to be nice. And while it is true that being kind to others can a lot of times benefit you personally- that is not why I want them to be kind. I want them to realize the value each person has- that they are precious creations of their God and He adores them. So we should treat them like they are valuable because they are valuable. The thought being that they will eventually be kind to others because they see the value in them and want to treat them with honor- whether it personally benefits them or not. Because, I believe, if they only treat people well because of what they might get out of it- then that is just a sophisticated form of manipulation. And not at all honorable. And not what I am trying to teach them.
So maybe we start out obeying God because it's what He says to do- but I think at some point He's hoping we get His vision and His heart and we are doing things because it's what is important to Him and not just because it will lead us into a happy and successful life. This self-centered gospel doesn't work because it doesn't exist. If our gospel is self'-centered it is just that- "ours" and has become something we have made - not what God has made. He is anything but self-centered (reference the cross) and His will for us is anything but a life of self-centeredness.(reference any of the disciples)
He says plainly His desire is to be in close relationship with us and for His kingdom to come here on earth. So we have interpreted "His will" to mean whatever sounds good to us. But He again spelled that out clearly,too-His will is to bind up the brokenhearted, to free the captives, to help the poor, release those in darkness, and to comfort those who mourn (Isaiah 61). That's why He came and that's what He told us to do when He left- to finish the work of the One who sent Him. There was no real mention of our personal happiness in all of that. The gospel, if we can simplify it into anything, is not self-centered but others-centered. But even that is not really true because then we can go from being narcissistic and introspective to a self-satisfied do-gooder. Gosh- we can make anything about us can't we? But it's this delicate balance of us being in relationship with Him and doing what He would be doing if He were still here walking this earth- realizing it's all about us and not at all about us.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Water fight
It's amazing how your perspective on things changes as you get older. Like the relative who's super cool working at McDonald's when you're 5 but when you're 19- you don't think they or their career path is quite so cool anymore. Or take today for instance...it was Cobb County's last day of school and everyone got out early with the elementary kids to be the last released. The neighborhood moms made a plan for all the parents, middle school kids, and anyone else who wanted to join in to meet the elementary bus at the neighborhood stop and blast the kids with water balloons, water guns, even hoses as they got off the bus to kick off the start of summer. The kids loved it and spent the next hour fighting back until rain and thunder sent everyone home.
Now, if I were to pull into my driveway dressed in my work clothes, or any type of clothes for that matter, and was met by a mob of people prepared to douse me with water-frankly, I would wonder what I had done to piss them all off. I would not be excited, appreciative, or experience any modicum of joy at all. I think this experience ceases to be fun around 15 if you're a boy and 12 if you're a girl.
So is this maturity or do we just become grouchy old people? Maybe both. We are mature enough to know that wet underwear is no fun at all but too grouchy to make the best of it for a short time. But mostly- we don't have the time and energy it takes to redo our hair.
Now, if I were to pull into my driveway dressed in my work clothes, or any type of clothes for that matter, and was met by a mob of people prepared to douse me with water-frankly, I would wonder what I had done to piss them all off. I would not be excited, appreciative, or experience any modicum of joy at all. I think this experience ceases to be fun around 15 if you're a boy and 12 if you're a girl.
So is this maturity or do we just become grouchy old people? Maybe both. We are mature enough to know that wet underwear is no fun at all but too grouchy to make the best of it for a short time. But mostly- we don't have the time and energy it takes to redo our hair.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Novocaine
I haven't posted anything in a few days partially because I have spent a lot of time at the dentist. There's really never a good reason that follows that statement- something is almost always wrong if you are making repeated trips to your dentist's office. And my time there was no exception. They've gone very high tech now with all their fancy gadgets and TV's in every cubicle but you still have to wear those lame sunglasses to protect your eyes from what I guess are ultra-violet death rays coming out of that little lamp. And then they pulled out these 1980's headphones(with all this technology has no one mentioned to them earbuds?) so I could listen to the TV while they did what sounded like building demolition in my mouth. It was all very pleasant. When it was time to leave, the hygienist told me to be careful because that whole side of my mouth would be very numb for a few hours- apparently some people forget this? Or just don't care so they end up biting their cheek or tongue and have this mangled mess in their mouth when the anesthesia wears off which is more painful than the work they had done.
I had a lot of time to think about my numb mouth because I am fortunate enough to be one of the few people who are very sensitive to novocaine and instead of being numb for a couple of hours- my mouth stays numb for the entire day. Lucky me. But as I thought about how easy it would be to accidentally hurt yourself with no feeling in your face- it occurred to me that this happens all the time in everyday life without any novocaine at all.
We all go through things when it seems like the pain of it is too much to bear and I believe a lot of those times God will, like any good physician, give us enough of His grace to "numb"us up. Not that we won't feel it by any means, but He gives us what we need to endure with the goal being to eventually overcome. But sometimes we get stuck in a cycle of trying so hard not to feel anything as we go through that we start to self-medicate. Maybe drugs or alcohol but maybe not. Maybe a job or a hobby or taking care of somebody else or shopping or eating or exercising...we're a creative bunch so we can come up with all kinds of things to keep from dealing with what is really going on in our lives. And it works so we keep on doing it- maybe even for years, until one day- we have to wake up and deal with the mangled mess we have created while trying to avoid the original pain. Because when we're busy numbing ourselves- we can't feel what we are doing to those around us or even ourselves and we inevitably do damage we never intended.
I can tell you that the pain you think you cannot bear- you can if you let Him in the pain with you. The things you think you cannot face- you can if you let Him face them with you. He is faithful- not because He's God and He has to be but because He is who He is and He loves you even in your numbed up state making a mangled mess of everything. He loves you no less in your mess. (that rhymed and it was a total accident! but I like it- it's a good motto!)
I had a lot of time to think about my numb mouth because I am fortunate enough to be one of the few people who are very sensitive to novocaine and instead of being numb for a couple of hours- my mouth stays numb for the entire day. Lucky me. But as I thought about how easy it would be to accidentally hurt yourself with no feeling in your face- it occurred to me that this happens all the time in everyday life without any novocaine at all.
We all go through things when it seems like the pain of it is too much to bear and I believe a lot of those times God will, like any good physician, give us enough of His grace to "numb"us up. Not that we won't feel it by any means, but He gives us what we need to endure with the goal being to eventually overcome. But sometimes we get stuck in a cycle of trying so hard not to feel anything as we go through that we start to self-medicate. Maybe drugs or alcohol but maybe not. Maybe a job or a hobby or taking care of somebody else or shopping or eating or exercising...we're a creative bunch so we can come up with all kinds of things to keep from dealing with what is really going on in our lives. And it works so we keep on doing it- maybe even for years, until one day- we have to wake up and deal with the mangled mess we have created while trying to avoid the original pain. Because when we're busy numbing ourselves- we can't feel what we are doing to those around us or even ourselves and we inevitably do damage we never intended.
I can tell you that the pain you think you cannot bear- you can if you let Him in the pain with you. The things you think you cannot face- you can if you let Him face them with you. He is faithful- not because He's God and He has to be but because He is who He is and He loves you even in your numbed up state making a mangled mess of everything. He loves you no less in your mess. (that rhymed and it was a total accident! but I like it- it's a good motto!)
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Unfair
I have been accused by my one of my children of being unfair...that I create rules for this one that I don't have for the others. This child contends that they are treated differently from the other two. And what is my answer to these trumped-up charges? Probably so. (if you are familiar with Danny Silk you will particularly appreciate my answer)
See- I have already said that I do not enjoy a lot of structure which naturally lends itself to a home without a lot of rules. Any rules we do have serve a specific purpose. For instance- Brandt has rules about video games- what games, how long, and what times because he plays video games frequently enough that he needs some guidelines concerning them. The girls do not so they have no video game rules. If I made our rules a one-size-fits-all we would end up with a mess.
I think there are times the Lord tries to parent us the same way and we react with the same response as my child-"You are unfair and treat me differently than everyone else- no one else has to do (or NOT do) this!" I mean there are, obviously, rules He has put in place that are for everyone. What I am talking about is the not so black and white stuff- the gray areas as we like to call them. The places He calls us to do things differently than people around us- even Christian people.
I will give an example from my own life (I will use one that I actually obeyed the Lord on as these examples are more rare than the times I disobeyed) He put it in my heart at a very young age not to drink alcohol. Even as an adult- I still feel just as strongly that this is what He has asked me to do as I did when I was younger. When people find this out- especially non-Christians -it always brings the inevitable question- "Do you think it's a sin to drink?" First- the good thing for everyone is- I don't get to decide if anything is a sin or not. Second- maybe this comes from being a Christian a while- but I'm really not much concerned with whether something is a "sin". I'm more concerned with what He thinks than what I can analyze and try to justify having in my life. I just know He has told me this isn't good for me and I have to trust He knows what he's talking about. I know with my own kids, like Brandt's video games- I don't put rules in place unless they need them. So if He's telling me I should stay away from alcohol- it's probably because He knows this might be a problem for me.
Drinking may not be an area He has spoken to you about- and that's what I love so much about Him. He is so very personal. He is not a one-size-fits-all God. He knows us each individually and while His holiness never changes, His goodness never falters, His righteousness is never diminished- He calls us to areas of holiness individually in our lives and if we will only listen we'll realize it's more about protecting us than Him. Our desire should be for His glory to be known but His desire is for relationship with us and for that to happen- He wants to keep us from all the things that stop us from being close to Him. I don't limit Brandt's time on video games because I hate games or want to show him who's in charge. I just don't want to lose him to a virtual reality- I want to see him, talk to him, laugh with him- I want him to enjoy real life outside of that little room- playing sports, hanging out with friends...I want better for him than what those games have to offer.
The Lord loves us in the same way, only a million times more. If we would only let Him father us-" ..how I have longed to gather your children together as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing..."(Matthew 23:37) Oh that we would be willing! He is so good - even in His unfairness- He is so good! But most of the time we are unwilling and we plunge ourselves into activities and habits He never meant for us and we move further away from the person He created us to be and the relationship He created us for. How many times have we broken His heart? How many times has He shown us a better way only for us to tell Him He's unfair and head off down a path of our own making? I'm sure more times than I can count in my own life. But He keeps calling- keeps pointing me back to the path He had in mind because He wants my obedience- He wants my trust- but more than all of that- He wants me, my whole heart moving through life fully in His presence .
See- I have already said that I do not enjoy a lot of structure which naturally lends itself to a home without a lot of rules. Any rules we do have serve a specific purpose. For instance- Brandt has rules about video games- what games, how long, and what times because he plays video games frequently enough that he needs some guidelines concerning them. The girls do not so they have no video game rules. If I made our rules a one-size-fits-all we would end up with a mess.
I think there are times the Lord tries to parent us the same way and we react with the same response as my child-"You are unfair and treat me differently than everyone else- no one else has to do (or NOT do) this!" I mean there are, obviously, rules He has put in place that are for everyone. What I am talking about is the not so black and white stuff- the gray areas as we like to call them. The places He calls us to do things differently than people around us- even Christian people.
I will give an example from my own life (I will use one that I actually obeyed the Lord on as these examples are more rare than the times I disobeyed) He put it in my heart at a very young age not to drink alcohol. Even as an adult- I still feel just as strongly that this is what He has asked me to do as I did when I was younger. When people find this out- especially non-Christians -it always brings the inevitable question- "Do you think it's a sin to drink?" First- the good thing for everyone is- I don't get to decide if anything is a sin or not. Second- maybe this comes from being a Christian a while- but I'm really not much concerned with whether something is a "sin". I'm more concerned with what He thinks than what I can analyze and try to justify having in my life. I just know He has told me this isn't good for me and I have to trust He knows what he's talking about. I know with my own kids, like Brandt's video games- I don't put rules in place unless they need them. So if He's telling me I should stay away from alcohol- it's probably because He knows this might be a problem for me.
Drinking may not be an area He has spoken to you about- and that's what I love so much about Him. He is so very personal. He is not a one-size-fits-all God. He knows us each individually and while His holiness never changes, His goodness never falters, His righteousness is never diminished- He calls us to areas of holiness individually in our lives and if we will only listen we'll realize it's more about protecting us than Him. Our desire should be for His glory to be known but His desire is for relationship with us and for that to happen- He wants to keep us from all the things that stop us from being close to Him. I don't limit Brandt's time on video games because I hate games or want to show him who's in charge. I just don't want to lose him to a virtual reality- I want to see him, talk to him, laugh with him- I want him to enjoy real life outside of that little room- playing sports, hanging out with friends...I want better for him than what those games have to offer.
The Lord loves us in the same way, only a million times more. If we would only let Him father us-" ..how I have longed to gather your children together as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing..."(Matthew 23:37) Oh that we would be willing! He is so good - even in His unfairness- He is so good! But most of the time we are unwilling and we plunge ourselves into activities and habits He never meant for us and we move further away from the person He created us to be and the relationship He created us for. How many times have we broken His heart? How many times has He shown us a better way only for us to tell Him He's unfair and head off down a path of our own making? I'm sure more times than I can count in my own life. But He keeps calling- keeps pointing me back to the path He had in mind because He wants my obedience- He wants my trust- but more than all of that- He wants me, my whole heart moving through life fully in His presence .
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)