I realized the state of my life tonight as I had a very serious conversation with Halle about why Nick is my favorite Jonas brother. Even more alarming than the fact that I actually have a favorite Jonas brother is that I can substantiate my preference. Disney is running my life.
I thought back to our summer in New York- seeing Broadway plays and spending afternoons at MOMA, walking through Central Park and Chelsea Market..thinking at the time of all the culture my kids' were being exposed to. Yesterday we went to a local arts festival and they had painted the porta-pottys with famous artwork- classy, I know. We passed one with the Mona Lisa on it and Halle pointed out to her friend- "Look, it's Queen Latifah"...Alarming. The upside is it atleast rhymed with Mona Lisa. But seriously? Is this all I have taught my children? They will be adults and remember discussing Hannah Montana and NASCAR with their mother but have no idea who Michelangelo is.
Our culture shapes so much about us- but it's funny how little we step outside of it and look at what exactly it is making of us. It's not just my kids, but my own life. There are a million things competing for my time and attention- which of these will I let have the biggest voice in my life? Which will I let shape me? Or will I shape my culture? Will I be a force that has an effect on those around me for their betterment? Or will I let myself be entertained to death? It's hard to be counter-cultural and still be relevant. I wish I could find that balance as easily as I can pick my favorite Jo Bro. I think this will be a battle not won in a day but over a lifetime. I pray I keep my eyes and my focus on what has true value and don't settle for art on a porta-potty.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
Revenge
Last night we had the collision of two perfect moments at my house. Hale and Brad were wrestling on the couch when it took an ugly turn, like it nearly always does. Her newly pierced ears were bumped by Brad's flailing arms as he tried to avoid her tickling. This resulted in Halle running upstairs in tears and Brad sending me after her since she was no longer speaking to him. This was the beginning.
When I found her upstairs, she was in my bathroom crying and nursing her ears. Since we were beyond the point of reason, I did what any good mother would do when their child has been wronged and suggested revenge. This brought an immediate sparkle to her eye and grin to her face. My idea was toothpaste. I said "Get some on your finger, and go down like you're hugging dad and smear it on him." In my mind, this looked like a pea size amount of toothpaste gently smeared across Brad's cheek. As with most things, though, it did not go the way I imagined.
Before Halle could enact Operation Make-Dad-Pay, Brad came upstairs and laid across the bed. At the exact moment Halle is plotting her revenge, Brad looks at me unknowingly and says,"I've just decided to adopt an I don't care attitude about everything." How appropriate.
So now that he's laying down the hug would be awkward but ever the quick thinker, Halle came up with her own way. She asked me to pull Brad's shirt up like I was going to scratch his back and ever so discreetly block his view of the incoming wrath of Halle-which turned out to be a handful of gel toothpaste (again,not the kind I was imagining as it is a lot goopier and, well, disgusting) smeared all over his back. Gel toothpaste, by the way, is remarkably colder than you might think right out of the tube. Brad eventually catches his breath, finds out what has just happened to him, and asks Halle to get a wash rag to clean it off. I think he was envisioning a warm rag- but again- this would be wrong to assume. Halle throws, literally, an ice cold rag across his back. I really thought he was going to come up off the bed this time.
What is the point of this whole story? I guess the first lesson here would be- don't mess with Halle. Second- it's just a whole lot like life. The moment you decide nothing is going to bother you- something will come along to see if you really mean it.
When I found her upstairs, she was in my bathroom crying and nursing her ears. Since we were beyond the point of reason, I did what any good mother would do when their child has been wronged and suggested revenge. This brought an immediate sparkle to her eye and grin to her face. My idea was toothpaste. I said "Get some on your finger, and go down like you're hugging dad and smear it on him." In my mind, this looked like a pea size amount of toothpaste gently smeared across Brad's cheek. As with most things, though, it did not go the way I imagined.
Before Halle could enact Operation Make-Dad-Pay, Brad came upstairs and laid across the bed. At the exact moment Halle is plotting her revenge, Brad looks at me unknowingly and says,"I've just decided to adopt an I don't care attitude about everything." How appropriate.
So now that he's laying down the hug would be awkward but ever the quick thinker, Halle came up with her own way. She asked me to pull Brad's shirt up like I was going to scratch his back and ever so discreetly block his view of the incoming wrath of Halle-which turned out to be a handful of gel toothpaste (again,not the kind I was imagining as it is a lot goopier and, well, disgusting) smeared all over his back. Gel toothpaste, by the way, is remarkably colder than you might think right out of the tube. Brad eventually catches his breath, finds out what has just happened to him, and asks Halle to get a wash rag to clean it off. I think he was envisioning a warm rag- but again- this would be wrong to assume. Halle throws, literally, an ice cold rag across his back. I really thought he was going to come up off the bed this time.
What is the point of this whole story? I guess the first lesson here would be- don't mess with Halle. Second- it's just a whole lot like life. The moment you decide nothing is going to bother you- something will come along to see if you really mean it.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Giants
Someone said today "When I stand among giants, I feel taller." I thought that was such a great statement. She was talking about surrounding yourself with people that are further along than you- that have something you want in your own life but haven't quite got yet. And I thought how often this has the opposite affect. When you are around people with more money- you get envious. More in shape- you get depressed. More knowledge- you feel foolish.
But when someone has more Jesus- that's a different story. I said more Jesus, though, not more religion. Religion is suffocating and oppressive and makes you feel guilty and worthless. But having more Jesus really just translates to having more freedom- and we always want more of that when we see it. We were created to be free- precisely why the Tree of Life was smack dab in the middle of the garden. The devil didn't put it there- God did. Because He knew if we couldn't choose, it wasn't really love. The whole basis of our life and relationship with Him is freedom- before us is life and death, blessing and curse- but it is always our choice.
And being around people that consistently choose life makes you want to choose it more for yourself. Because they don't choose Him out of obligation or guilt- they choose Him out of love. They realized that they were meant for freedom and He was the only One who loved them enough to give them theirs. So I will stand a little taller among the giants I am lucky enough to know.
But when someone has more Jesus- that's a different story. I said more Jesus, though, not more religion. Religion is suffocating and oppressive and makes you feel guilty and worthless. But having more Jesus really just translates to having more freedom- and we always want more of that when we see it. We were created to be free- precisely why the Tree of Life was smack dab in the middle of the garden. The devil didn't put it there- God did. Because He knew if we couldn't choose, it wasn't really love. The whole basis of our life and relationship with Him is freedom- before us is life and death, blessing and curse- but it is always our choice.
And being around people that consistently choose life makes you want to choose it more for yourself. Because they don't choose Him out of obligation or guilt- they choose Him out of love. They realized that they were meant for freedom and He was the only One who loved them enough to give them theirs. So I will stand a little taller among the giants I am lucky enough to know.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Organic
We are going organic at my house as much as possible. We haven't become health nuts by any stretch of the imagination but I am trying to buy organic on the food items that we eat on a regular basis. We are not going to be one of those families that will ONLY eat organic foods for a couple of reasons. The first being- it's just too hard. It's enough of a challenge to plan meals around sports, school, and diabetes- if I narrow my options down to organic only- there would be some hungry people in my house! The second reason is less of a reason and more of a person- Halle Meghan.
Halle is my 9 year old and she is full of sass. Not the disrespectful sass but the I-know-exactly-who-I-am-and-what-I-want kind of sass. And she emphatically does NOT want organic. Specifically- she does not want organic milk. "I do not drink this stuff" she tells me every time I buy it. Now there are many food items I will compromise on- but milk is one that I strictly buy organic. The kids drink too much of it and regular milk has too much junk added to it- plus you really cannot taste any difference. Peanut butter, I understand- you can definitely tell a difference in the taste. But if I poured that milk into a regular container she would never know it was organic. Just the word- organic- grosses her out. "I don't like anything organic" she says, drawing out the word organic, like just saying it might make her sick, emphasized by a very disgusted look on her face. "It's gross!" And I tell her every time that I don't think she understands what organic is. Something that is grown naturally without adding chemicals or being genetically altered is not gross- it's normal. It's how food should be.
But Halle doesn't care- organic is new on the label- she doesn't get it and she doesn't care. It's foreign so it can't be good. It takes away the comfort of her having what she is used to in favor of some unknown thing she doesn't understand. As adults- we see the childishness in this kind of thinking but we rarely notice how often we act the same way. Only not about food- about things that really matter- like people or experiences or new ways of thinking or doing things. It's foreign- we don't like it- we've never seen it done that way before. It messes with our tradition and therefore it messes with us.
I think God is doing a new thing in the church and many people aren't going to like it. He is moving us out of religious duty into intimate relationship- it's a good thing. But we like our duties. We like thinking our 40 day fast can summon the presence of God- it is empowering to think we have that kind of control. But He is shaking our paradigms. He will shake everything away that is based on our works or our goodness. The Cross happened for a reason- because our works and our goodness could never be enough. Our righteousness is like filthy rags- yes, even you 40 day fasters- you are wearing rags if you are not clothed with His righteousness. And the life He wants is something many of us have never seen before- living daily in His presence -unconcerned with what others feel should be our Christian duty because we live to please only Him, to obey Him daily. No formulas, no guaranteed outcomes (I can hear the outcry already)...just daily trusting that no matter what happens- He is enough.
And we balk at this because we lose control- it becomes all about Him and not about us- because like Halle, we just don't get it- not yet anyway. We don't get that this is a much better thing He is offering us. Just ask Him about this shift. Don't take my word on it- ask Him what He wants to do and what it looks like for your life (He's very personal that way- remember- no formulas)
One day, Halle will understand organic is a good thing and will be glad it was something she was offered. We will be the same with Him and His glorious offer to do a new thing.
Halle is my 9 year old and she is full of sass. Not the disrespectful sass but the I-know-exactly-who-I-am-and-what-I-want kind of sass. And she emphatically does NOT want organic. Specifically- she does not want organic milk. "I do not drink this stuff" she tells me every time I buy it. Now there are many food items I will compromise on- but milk is one that I strictly buy organic. The kids drink too much of it and regular milk has too much junk added to it- plus you really cannot taste any difference. Peanut butter, I understand- you can definitely tell a difference in the taste. But if I poured that milk into a regular container she would never know it was organic. Just the word- organic- grosses her out. "I don't like anything organic" she says, drawing out the word organic, like just saying it might make her sick, emphasized by a very disgusted look on her face. "It's gross!" And I tell her every time that I don't think she understands what organic is. Something that is grown naturally without adding chemicals or being genetically altered is not gross- it's normal. It's how food should be.
But Halle doesn't care- organic is new on the label- she doesn't get it and she doesn't care. It's foreign so it can't be good. It takes away the comfort of her having what she is used to in favor of some unknown thing she doesn't understand. As adults- we see the childishness in this kind of thinking but we rarely notice how often we act the same way. Only not about food- about things that really matter- like people or experiences or new ways of thinking or doing things. It's foreign- we don't like it- we've never seen it done that way before. It messes with our tradition and therefore it messes with us.
I think God is doing a new thing in the church and many people aren't going to like it. He is moving us out of religious duty into intimate relationship- it's a good thing. But we like our duties. We like thinking our 40 day fast can summon the presence of God- it is empowering to think we have that kind of control. But He is shaking our paradigms. He will shake everything away that is based on our works or our goodness. The Cross happened for a reason- because our works and our goodness could never be enough. Our righteousness is like filthy rags- yes, even you 40 day fasters- you are wearing rags if you are not clothed with His righteousness. And the life He wants is something many of us have never seen before- living daily in His presence -unconcerned with what others feel should be our Christian duty because we live to please only Him, to obey Him daily. No formulas, no guaranteed outcomes (I can hear the outcry already)...just daily trusting that no matter what happens- He is enough.
And we balk at this because we lose control- it becomes all about Him and not about us- because like Halle, we just don't get it- not yet anyway. We don't get that this is a much better thing He is offering us. Just ask Him about this shift. Don't take my word on it- ask Him what He wants to do and what it looks like for your life (He's very personal that way- remember- no formulas)
One day, Halle will understand organic is a good thing and will be glad it was something she was offered. We will be the same with Him and His glorious offer to do a new thing.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
ill-advised
I went in for an ultra sound the other day and was talking to the tech about all the advances in medicine. He was telling me that soon a doctor in London will be doing robotic surgeries on people in the US or vice-versa. When Kenzie and Regan were little- like 3- Kenzie whispered something into Regan's ear and the response we heard was "I don't think that's a berry dood idea, Tenzie". This was my precise thought as I envisioned lying unconscious on a table, sliced open by a machine operated by someone thousands of miles away...I don't think that's a berry dood idea.
There is a fine line between something being technological advancement and just plain ill-advised. And how do you know when you are the person stuck in the dark ages or the voice of wisdom? I don't know. Sometimes I think we have all this knowledge with very little wisdom but we are compelled to move forward. To try and fail. It's not just the American way- it's the human spirit. God has put in us the desire to create and grow and learn. But sometimes we get a little too big for our britches. (reference the Tower of Babel) We cross the line from creating to control and manipulation- never God's intent. Probably not ours either when we start out, but somewhere we cross the line. We want to end sickness and suffering and death but we can't. We never will. Only a Savior can do these things and we try hard to be our own- but we fall miserably short every time. So do we quit trying? Where is the line between creating and control? Dedication and striving? I don't know- I do know this life is tricky business without laying it all at His feet, letting Him examine the motives of our heart- and it is flat-out impossible without the Only One who can truly save, heal, and deliver.
There is a fine line between something being technological advancement and just plain ill-advised. And how do you know when you are the person stuck in the dark ages or the voice of wisdom? I don't know. Sometimes I think we have all this knowledge with very little wisdom but we are compelled to move forward. To try and fail. It's not just the American way- it's the human spirit. God has put in us the desire to create and grow and learn. But sometimes we get a little too big for our britches. (reference the Tower of Babel) We cross the line from creating to control and manipulation- never God's intent. Probably not ours either when we start out, but somewhere we cross the line. We want to end sickness and suffering and death but we can't. We never will. Only a Savior can do these things and we try hard to be our own- but we fall miserably short every time. So do we quit trying? Where is the line between creating and control? Dedication and striving? I don't know- I do know this life is tricky business without laying it all at His feet, letting Him examine the motives of our heart- and it is flat-out impossible without the Only One who can truly save, heal, and deliver.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Backward
Last night marked the kickoff of high school football. Since my son is a freshman- this is a new experience for me. We started at 4 with a pep rally followed by a team meal- then everyone was transported to the field for a 7:30 game that lasted until 10:45. This was a varsity game but the JV team was required to dress out and attend with a few promised some playing time- my son being one of those. He did not get any, not even one minute on the field.
We drove him and one of his friends home and as we discussed the night's game talk inevitably turned to last year's season. Aahh- middle school football, the glory days for Brandt and Sam- the fastest 2 on the team, coaches favorites, teammates heroes...They relived moments and glories until they finally both said-"I wish I could go back! If they would let me I would go back now and show those kids how to play and run the ball!"
Have you ever heard of high schoolers wanting to go back to middle school? High school is a promotion- you're moving forward, growing up. But these boys are longing to go backward. Not that I can blame them on this one. Sitting in the stands for 4 hours and watching kids play you don't even know is not a lot of fun to me, especially compared to watching my MVP in on every play last year. Why does a promotion feel so much like they're going backward?
The Israelites felt the same way when they left Egypt and were promoted to the desert. They left slavery to be free people but then God took them to the desert! What was He thinking? They could have loved and served Him so much better from the Promised Land- but He drags them into the desert without even as much food and water as they had in Egypt. And they tell Him- they are not happy about it- they even decide at some point they want to go back to Egypt!
Brandt and Sam are great athletes and great football players- they will play again regularly. But this season they are learning. No matter how much they want to be- they are not Varsity players yet, not fully. But they can't go back. In their case- they physically cannot go back to being younger. But if they could- they still couldn't- not if they ever wanted to get better than an 8th grade player. They have to be around players that are better than them- they have to learn some new things, become more seasoned- then when it's their turn for Varsity- they will be ready.
We all enter seasons where we feel like God has dropped us into some hole and want to go back to where we were. We think we could do such great things if He would just put us in the game!But sometimes this is part of the process. We need time to learn, to grow, to become more seasoned in His Word and His Presence. Sometimes we have been through a trying season and we just need to rest and let Him strengthen us physically, mentally, or emotionally. Whatever the reason-we need to let God have His way and if we do, I promise we won't spend 40 years in the hole like the Israelites in the desert!
We drove him and one of his friends home and as we discussed the night's game talk inevitably turned to last year's season. Aahh- middle school football, the glory days for Brandt and Sam- the fastest 2 on the team, coaches favorites, teammates heroes...They relived moments and glories until they finally both said-"I wish I could go back! If they would let me I would go back now and show those kids how to play and run the ball!"
Have you ever heard of high schoolers wanting to go back to middle school? High school is a promotion- you're moving forward, growing up. But these boys are longing to go backward. Not that I can blame them on this one. Sitting in the stands for 4 hours and watching kids play you don't even know is not a lot of fun to me, especially compared to watching my MVP in on every play last year. Why does a promotion feel so much like they're going backward?
The Israelites felt the same way when they left Egypt and were promoted to the desert. They left slavery to be free people but then God took them to the desert! What was He thinking? They could have loved and served Him so much better from the Promised Land- but He drags them into the desert without even as much food and water as they had in Egypt. And they tell Him- they are not happy about it- they even decide at some point they want to go back to Egypt!
Brandt and Sam are great athletes and great football players- they will play again regularly. But this season they are learning. No matter how much they want to be- they are not Varsity players yet, not fully. But they can't go back. In their case- they physically cannot go back to being younger. But if they could- they still couldn't- not if they ever wanted to get better than an 8th grade player. They have to be around players that are better than them- they have to learn some new things, become more seasoned- then when it's their turn for Varsity- they will be ready.
We all enter seasons where we feel like God has dropped us into some hole and want to go back to where we were. We think we could do such great things if He would just put us in the game!But sometimes this is part of the process. We need time to learn, to grow, to become more seasoned in His Word and His Presence. Sometimes we have been through a trying season and we just need to rest and let Him strengthen us physically, mentally, or emotionally. Whatever the reason-we need to let God have His way and if we do, I promise we won't spend 40 years in the hole like the Israelites in the desert!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
What's happening?
I have noticed a common lament among the people I know- I don't understand what God is doing! So many things are happening in the lives of people that don't seem to make any sense and it is hard to see how God is working when just getting through the day seems overwhelming. We so want to understand and we think if He would just tell us what He is doing or when the breakthrough is coming- then we could hang on, then we could have faith. John 2 verse 22 completely disproves this theory.
Jesus has just turned water to wine and now He's told everyone He can rebuild the temple in 3 days. Wow. This inevitably brings some questions. But the verse after these is what is so interesting. It says after He was raised from the dead , the disciples remembered what He had said- "THEN they believed the Scripture and the words Jesus had spoken." (emphasis mine)
He told them right then and there what He was planning to do but they couldn't comprehend what He was telling them. They didn't get it until he went to the Cross and rose from the dead. I would venture to say that until we go through the death- of whatever it may be we have to die to...our expectations, our ambitions, our desires...we are unable to understand what He is doing. We usually have too much of our own stuff in the way to see where God is going with his stuff. But when we look back we see, THEN we believe.
I think this is beautifully illustrated when Moses asked to see God's glory. You know the story- God passes by and Moses can't see God's face and live but he gets a glimpse of God's back.
We usually can't see where God is, but we can always tell where He's been! True for Moses, true for the disciples, and still true for us. We can't comprehend what His plan is in our situations but if we let Him have His way with us through the death- we will see the resurrection- we will see where He has been. And it has been with us and for us all along.
Jesus has just turned water to wine and now He's told everyone He can rebuild the temple in 3 days. Wow. This inevitably brings some questions. But the verse after these is what is so interesting. It says after He was raised from the dead , the disciples remembered what He had said- "THEN they believed the Scripture and the words Jesus had spoken." (emphasis mine)
He told them right then and there what He was planning to do but they couldn't comprehend what He was telling them. They didn't get it until he went to the Cross and rose from the dead. I would venture to say that until we go through the death- of whatever it may be we have to die to...our expectations, our ambitions, our desires...we are unable to understand what He is doing. We usually have too much of our own stuff in the way to see where God is going with his stuff. But when we look back we see, THEN we believe.
I think this is beautifully illustrated when Moses asked to see God's glory. You know the story- God passes by and Moses can't see God's face and live but he gets a glimpse of God's back.
We usually can't see where God is, but we can always tell where He's been! True for Moses, true for the disciples, and still true for us. We can't comprehend what His plan is in our situations but if we let Him have His way with us through the death- we will see the resurrection- we will see where He has been. And it has been with us and for us all along.
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