Monday

It is a dreary Monday weather-wise. And my mood is matching. I have been in a funk the last couple of days and haven't really known why. This is when it's good to be a female and atleast have hormones to fall back on as an excuse but that just doesn't ring true this time. There is something more and as I really thought about it today I have realized atleast what part of it is. A couple of days ago, I met with someone to talk about a situation in my life and they told me the truth from a practical, educated perspective but I have allowed that assessment to steal not only my hope in this situation, but my joy. I have felt overwhelmed by a "diagnosis" that I can't fix.
There is a song I love that says "I'm so forgetful, but You always remind me. You're the only One who brings me peace. So I come, Lord, I come..to tell You I love You, to tell You I need You, to tell You there's no better place for me than in Your arms, to tell You I'm sorry for running in circles, for placing my focus on the waves not on Your face"
So here I am again having forgotten His promises, His faithfulness, His comfort- and I've wasted two days feeling bad and not knowing why. Sometimes we excuse our feelings away without taking the time to see what is going on in our heart and letting the Lord show us why we're feeling what we're feeling. We can't live life based on our feelings, obviously, but they are a good barometer as to what is going on in our hearts. And it's never going to hurt us to take it to Him and ask- what is causing this, where is this coming from?
So I still have this spoken "prognosis" that is not good- what do I do with that? I trust that He knows best- He has promised me everything is going to be all right and He is greater than any diagnosis- either deliverance from or the grace to walk through. And I will claim His finished work on the Cross- all that He died for and the power that raised Him from the dead- over myself and my family. And I say to Him- I love You, I need You, there's no better place for me than in Your arms, You're the only One who brings me peace in the storm.