Poem

I wrote this a while back in the midst of a very difficult time and I thought it went along with yesterday's post. I'm not typically a poet so it's a little rhymey!



The arrow shot into my heart..
"Is God faithful? He is NOT"
The enemy's lie has been believed
My broken heart has been deceived.


Why is He giving others things I need
When I seek and I ask but He won't answer me?
Does He think they deserve more?
Why do I have to ask over and over?
Where do I turn if His love isn't true?
Just bide my time til this life is through?


The enemy's coils around me tighten
My heart becomes more and more frightened.
If His Word isn't the truth,
Then there are no moral absolutes.


I want to live, to be fully alive
But this overwhelming fear is ever by my side-
That God says He loves me but doesn't mean it...
I can't blame Him- I mean, my heart..have you seen it?
It's a mess and divided,
I wish I could hide it.
I strive and I try to make myself pure
But this wretched heart can't manage the cure.
Now I'm stumbling, fighting to take care of myself
I can't give anything to others, I have nothing left.


At the end of myself, I give in to defeat,
The broken pieces of my heart laid at His feet.
My life is a mess
What He'll do, I can only guess.
Be disgusted and angry?
I am laid bare in His sovereignty.
His gentle arms envelop me,
Rocking me, holding me gently.
Where is the anger, the wrath and harsh words?
Why isn't He treating me how I deserve?


His love is so great, my fear melts away
How could my faith ever have strayed?
He is good and faithful, my heart now can see
His answers were there- patiently waiting for me...
Love for my fear, peace for the storm...
All found there in the crook of His arm.
Tucked away in His presence my heart is set free,
Assured in all ways that He really loves me.